Worthless
by TheAndromedaFangirl
Summary: Anakin and Obi-Wan have a fight in the hangar bay leading to Obi-Wan saying a trigger word for Anakin.


Anakin walked quickly as he and Obi-Wan moved through the hangar bay. They were engaged in a loud emotionally charged fight. Obi-Wan was oddly more aggravated than usual causing him to lash out at Anakin quickly.

"Anakin! Anakin, listen to me! The council needs you to be on alert at all times. You can't just ignore the calls."

"Oh my, I was thirty minutes late! What is with you get off my back."

"No, Anakin, because you were thirty minutes late we're all behind schedule by an hour. We should have been all briefed by now but no, you had to hold us all back as usual."

"As usual? Need I remind you Master that I've learnt everything from you."

"No Anakin you don't need to remind me, you only do it every other day," Obi-Wan grunted and Anakin chuckled.

"Is this funny to you!?"

"What is up with you today? Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?"

"We're in the middle of a war, hundreds of planets are depending on us to help them."

"I know! You think I don't realise that, I'm always out on the front lines, we've been home for the first time in seven months. Is there no other Jedi they can send. I feel like its always us." Obi-Wan went to rebute his point but Anakin started speaking again. "Am I not allowed some rest, to see some other people."

"This is about Senator Amidala, isn't it?" Obi-Wan grabbed Anakin's arm.

"No," Anakin said.

"Then were where you?"

"I was with the Chancellor," Anakin lied and began walking. They quickly arrived at the Resolute where Ahsoka and the clones were waiting for them.

"Anakin, this conversation is not over!"

"Yes it is! I told you what happened not lets get boarded or shall we waste more time."

"No you told me a lie. You weren't with the Chancellor as he was at the briefing with the council."

 _Crap._ Anakin thought, he's usually better at cover stories but his brain went to mush. "What I do with my free time is my business." He turned to face Obi-Wan.

"Not when your wasting the councils time. Or when it can include forming attachments."

"I wasn't with Senator Amidala and I do not have any attachments," he said calmly.

Rex and Ahsoka who were awkwardly watching shared a look to say 'yeah right'. Ahsoka stepped forward and cleared her throat. "Master Obi-Wan, calm down, everything's fine."

Obi-Wan turned to Ahsoka, his face now resembling calmness. "Ahsoka, please stay out of this."

Anakin turned to walk away. "No, Anakin you stay right there. Start acting like a proper Jedi and forget about your mother, forget about Senator Amidala and focus on the Jedi Order." Anakin slowly turned back to face Obi-Wan not sure if he heard him correctly.

Rex and Ahsoka flinched back, they both didn't know that much about Anakin's past but knew that was a low blow. But Obi-Wan's face remained stern.

"Forget about my mother. It's so easy for you to say that, you didn't know your mother."

"Stop acting like a pathetic, worthless boy and more like the adult you are." The look on Anakin's face when Obi-Wan uttered the words caused Ahsoka's heart to break.

 _Anakin was suddenly a young boy again standing in front on Watto as he berated him after losing his first pod race. "You're worthless, do you hear that boy, worthless that's why you and your mother belong to me. You can't even win me some money." "Worthless I tell you." Watto muttered as he flew away._

 _"Pathetic, just pathetic, you're lucky I bet against you this time boy, or you would have had another thing coming. Another beating, would you have liked that?"_

Anakin's eyes started welling up with tears and his breathing became ragged. "General," he heard Rex call. He managed to glance at Rex his vision beginning to tunnel. "Sir, maybe you should make your way to your quarters." Echoed through Anakin's ears. The blood seemed to rush from his head as his heart began pumping faster and faster.

No, not now, not in front of everyone. The thought echoed in his head over and over. His feet were stuck he didn't feel in control of his body.

Suddenly two of the troopers were at his sides. "Rex," Anakin murmured.

"Yes sir, it's me." Rex reassured him, taking Anakin's hand and squeezing it.

"Not now, it can't happen now," Anakin muttered. "Let's get you back to your quarters shall we." Rex and Fives as well as a few other troopers began to usher Anakin away.

Obi-Wan's breath caught in his throat. "What have I done." His head fell in his hands. Ahsoka placed her hand on his arm.

"He'll be alright, Master Kenobi. He's Skyguy, he always pulls through."

"I'm his master I should have known. How could I be so careless, Anakin's not an ordinary Jedi."

"Of course he's not that's what makes him Anakin."

His breathing was sharp and ragged, his vision tunneled, his legs weren't working properly, his heart was racing, tears were streaming down his cheeks. Rex and Fives managed ti get Anakin onto his bed. "You need to breathe, General." Rex asserted.

"Worthless, worthless." Anakin cried.

"Focus on my voice sir." Rex continued. It wasn't the first time Anakin had taken a panic attack. The first one Rex was there for was in the middle of the battle field. He'd said something then about Dooku and an arm. But Rex had never seen him in a state like this. Usual the attack consisted of ragged breathing, repeating words, trying to run. But this time Anakin was sobbing, he couldn't control his body in any way, as if his brain had just shut down in that area.

"Rex, Rex?" Anakin asked through sobs.

"I'm here, you need to take deep breaths and focus on my voice."

"Deep breaths." Anakin began to repeat. Slowly but surely the crying stopped and his breathing returned to normal.

Fives returned with a hot cup of Caf and informed them they'd entered hyperspace.

"General Kenobi is asking if he can see him?"

"No!" Anakin said sharply. "Not yet," he said as Fives handed him the cup. "Give me a few hours."

"If you need me just call." Rex pointed to the comm link before leaving.

A few hours later Obi-Wan went with Ahsoka to apologise to Anakin. Rex and fives had told them that he'd recovered but to give him time alone.

"Master, can we come in." Ahsoka knocked on the door.

"It's open!" He replied.

"How are you feeling?" She asked as she approached him. She'd never seen Anakin like that before, so vulnerable and upset. It was like she'd just seen the real Anakin for the first time.

"I'm...better." He swiveled in his chair to face them.

Obi-Wan's face fell, his eyes were red, he'd been crying.

"I'm sorry, Ahsoka, that you had to see that. To see me so...weak." Worthless. He added mentally. He went to speak again but Obi-Wan beat him to the punch.

"Anakin, I'm so sorry. I should't have said any of those things. and please don't ever think you're worthless or pathetic or weak." Obi-Wan was at his side. "You've been through so much more than I could ever imagine and I should have known you'd have triggers." Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around Anakin pulling him into a tight embrace.

"I've asked so much of you and to know that I've caused you so much pain." Anakin closed his eyes and melted into the embrace. "I'm so sorry."

After a few moments Obi-Wan felt tears drip onto his pulled back to look at Anakin. "It was the first time that I...uh...lost a pod race, and Watto was very angry that I'd wasted all this money," Anakin choked out. "But it wasn't my fault." Tears were streaming now. "I was five, what did he expect."

Ahsoka listen horrified. Who would force a five year old boy to participate in a sport so dangerous most humans cant even do it.

"Subulba rammed into my pod causing it to break down and explode. I only survived because the force protected me."

"I'd hope it'd protect its son." Obi-Wan smiled.

"Yeah." Anakin chuckled and continued his story. "When I got back, he started calling me pathetic and worthless, that I deserved another beating, maybe I wanted one, that I was good for nothing except repairing droids."

"Anakin, you are so much more than repairing droids. You're one of the damn best Jedi I know. You're smart, strong, powerful, cunning, a brilliant General, not to mention a great teacher." Obi-Wan wiped away the tears that still fell.

Ahsoka smiled as she watched them. She wondered if they realised how intimate they were, how close they were, how much Obi-Wan cared for Anakin, how attached Obi-Wan was despite his rambling about the Jedi Code. Pushing the thoughts aside she joined the hugging.


End file.
